My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child.

We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. -- Rita Rudner

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know

I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. -- Dolly Parton

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -- Wendy Liebman

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth to. -- Erma Bombeck

If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. -- Sue Grafton

I would love to speak a foreign language, but I can't. So I grew

hair under my arms instead. -- Sue Kolinsky

I think -- therefore I'm single. -- Lizz Winstead

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men

invade another country." -- Elayne Boosler

"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." -- Gilda Radner

"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman." -- Maryon Pearson

"Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed

as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as

quickly promoted as a male schlemiel." --- Bella Abzug

"In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man; If you want

anything done, ask a woman." -- Margaret Thatcher

"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine

marriage and a career." -- Gloria Steinem

"Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths." -- Baroness Edith Summerskill

"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?

How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around

your neck?" -- Linda Ellerbee

"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." -- Gloria Steinem